Kajol's Peace Corps Blog

“What is one thing about Namibia you used to hate, that now you love?”

Billy, one of our Peace Corps language teachers asked me, Todd, and Colin to ponder and respond to this question. 

It got me thinking, and I landed on this…

Fat Is Not a Bad Word

Growing up in the States, the media warps your beauty standard to believe that skinny, lean, thin, flat, is the benchmark of beauty and health. This is changing as of lately, but after decades of being fed that message, I didn’t think it would take just a year in Namibia to shed this toxic standard I always held myself to.

I watched an interaction between a male and female colleague of mine. Makili (male) told Melanie (female) that she was looking fat ever since she returned from her hometown of Otjiwarongo. She gave a shy smile and a drawn out “reallllly?” I looked at Melanie concerned and ready to defend her beauty, confused whether Makili’s comment offended her. She laughed and told me it was a compliment.

In Namibia, when someone calls you fat, it means many things. It means you look healthy like you’ve been eating well. Like you found love, because you have someone who is keeping you nourished and fed. It means you look sexy or thick because curves are celebrated and sought after. Being called fat holds positive sentiments and almost always is meant as a compliment or a neutral statement.

A year ago, I would have spiraled if someone called me fat. A year ago, I really wanted to be skinny. A year ago, I wished I didn’t give as much of a crap about my body image.

A lot has changed in a year for me. While I can’t shed the 26 years of programming to quite accept fat as a compliment yet, I have noticed a shift in my perspectives. I have a noticed a newfound sense of indifference and comfort that I have in my body image. Namibia did this for me. Perhaps it’s the normalcy they place on bodies here. It’s the fact that at any corner, it is normal to see a mother breast feeding her child. Or a child squatting on the road and defecating. Or a semi-nomadic Himba woman dressed in the traditional attire of exposed breasts with a goat hide skirt and leather sandals.

Namibia gave me the body-neutral mindset I have always preached about, but never truly adapted for myself. It is still very much a work in progress for me, but I’ve made strides in this year in a way I never have been able to before.

Billy’s question made me realize that there are so many lessons I have learned and perspectives I have gained that deserve some reflection and gratitude.

November marks my one-year completion of service; our midpoint.

My goals when I committed myself to Peace Corps were ultimately to grow and to learn lifelong lessons that would shape me into a better person for all my days to come. While many people mistake Peace Corps service as a time to “help”, it really is about creating mutually beneficial relationships. It is about knowing that for as much value you give to the organization you’re posted at, you have an equal, if not greater, duty to learn and absorb perspectives and lessons. So here are my lessons – from Peace Corps, from Namibia, from living abroad for a year now…

Insects + Reptiles are Not That Scary

Gone are the days of me running, screaming, and jumping at the sites of spiders, lizards, roaches, and most other creepy crawlers. In my Bottle Home out here, I’ve learned to chill out and accept the many roommates I have that exist in these little forms. Snakes are a still quite daunting, but we will see how this next year changes me.

In Africa We Share

Collectivism is the culture of the East, while Individualism is the culture of the West. Through Namibia collectivism, I have learned that all things can be shared: a cool drink, a portion of your food, a helping hand on the side of the road when a tire pops, a chunk of your paycheck, your home, your family, and much more.

In the States, we embrace the Individualistic culture. We exist in nuclear families, we are self-interested, and we value independence, autonomy, and privacy.

It has been a privilege to exist within both cultures, and take away the positive attributes of both.

As part of the work I do with financial literacy and personal money management here in Namibia, we work on combatting some of the financial pressures of the collectivist system, often referred to as the “Black Tax.” The Black Tax is essentially the cultural pressure that poses a social obligation for working Namibians to share their monthly pay with their immediate family, extended family, neighbors, and greater community. This creates a vicious cycle of an inability to save or invest financial capital to grow and achieve financial independence.

While Black Tax can cause its hardships, there is something beautiful to learn about shedding the individualistic culture of operating purely within self-interest. I do believe the world would be a better place if we all cared about our neighbors just a little more, and in Namibia, and Africa, they do.

I am grateful to have exposure to both cultures – the individualist and the collectivist, and to find my happy medium between both.

Baking Is Not a Science

I’ve always loved to cook, but Peace Corps has helped me expand my range of capabilities, particularly in the baking department. I’ve learned that baking is in fact not a science, and you can wing most things. Homemade bread, bagels, pizza dough, tortillas, and pitas beat store bought in taste, texture, price, and nutrition! I am grateful that the lack of accessibility to some of these items brought me to this discovery.

Sustainable Change Takes Patience

When I got to site a year ago, one of the first projects I started working on was a revamp of the restaurant menu at my work. Primarily, all menu items needed to be re-costed and re-priced, and we needed to ensure our current food offerings were sufficiently catering to our intended markets.

Coming in as an “external consultant” with expertise on financial profitability and accounting, this project could have taken me 2 weeks tops in the States. Yet, one year later, while we have made strides on our menu progress, we are still not done yet. Why is this, I ask myself?

Sustainable changes take time. When I was a Management Consultant in my old job, we were not coming in as external consultants to make sustainable changes. In fact, if we did make sustainable changes, we would lose out on recurring revenue as our clients would be able to operate without us. Instead, as external consultants, we added value by creating short term solutions that helped our clients but also ensured a long-term dependency was crafted. I do not say this as a bad thing. It is a fact on how the business model works, and it is rooted in self-interest. 

I used to think the work I did as a Management Consultant in DC was pretty much the same as the work I’d do as an Economic Development Peace Corps Volunteer in Windhoek. However, now I see the difference is rooted in the sustainability. Here, I am working to craft long term solutions with my community that break dependencies and put my organization in a position where one day having someone in my role would not be useful for them. The solutioning behind every project with this lens takes time. It’s why my pricing model for the restaurant is still not completed, 52 weeks later. But it is also why hopefully, when I leave, none of the work will be dropped. Rather, it will be understood, accepted, and built upon for a bigger and brighter enterprise.

Stay Humble

Practice cultural humility. Don’t judge what you don’t understand. Kindness is more important than correctness. Always a teacher. Always a student. 

Be Independent

Each Peace Corps placement is different, but for the most part they lack structure. No one is holding your hand or telling you what to do for work, or how to do it. You approach each day and each project with a new sense of initiative and self-motivation. Peace Corps has taught me that I am capable of taking control of my life and any situation that is dealt my way. It did not teach me how to do it, but rather it proved to me that I can do it. I am grateful for that newfound confidence in my abilities.

Be Dependent

About 6 months before I departed for Peace Corps, I got caught up in a financial scam that thankfully did not cost me anything more than money. After going through that incident, my family asked me to promise to stop taking on every challenge by myself. I hold that promise close to my heart and feel thankful everyday that Peace Corps has shown me the blessings and support I have, near and far, to lean on every day. I’d list the names, but there are far too many to count.

Say Yes to More Things

Say yes to accepting help, say yes to offering help, say yes to trying the new piece of meat on your plate (and pray it’s not dog), say yes to attending church even if you’re an atheist, say yes to giving up your weekend to attend a cultural event that helps you integrate. Say yes and dive in with a genuine smile. This is what they teach us in Peace Corps, and sometimes it’s exhausting, daunting, uncomfortable, and more. But it builds character, and teaches adaptability, which are lessons and traits I’ll be grateful to have forever.

Say No to More Things

Boundaries are important. Before coming to Namibia, I was a lot softer and had a lot harder time saying the word “no” with power, force, and sternness. Being a female foreigner in a new country by yourself, teaches you how to put up your guard a bit and not fear you’re coming off as mean. I am grateful for finally gaining this strength, and I am sure my mother, my aunt, and my best friend Jenna are happy to read this as well. 

It Really Is the Little Things in Life

Impact is not limited to solving the world’s access to microfinance or ensuring every child has access to clean water and food. People often fail to take action feeling their contribution is insignificant at a small scale. Peace Corps has taught me that each day offers opportunities to make small differences in the lives of a few, which might end up collectively making a big difference in the lives of many. I am grateful every time someone from my community throws their empty bottle in the trash instead of in the dirt, and smiles my way when doing so.

Do Nice Things for You

These days, I have a lot more time to hang out with myself. Every day I do something that’s just for me. Whether it’s cooking myself a nice meal or baked good, chilling in my hammock and working on my embroidery, journaling my memories and thoughts, blogging or vlogging, doing something active, dancing in the mirror to my favorite playlist, or one hundred other things. I am grateful that this journey has given me a new sense of self love.

Be Brave

The scariest thing I ever did was leave. The saddest I have ever been, was the month before leaving. And yet, the best choice I’ve made for my personal growth has been coming to Peace Corps Namibia. Be brave and trust the process.

Be Grateful, Every Day

In honor of November, and my favorite holiday of Thanksgiving, I am ever so grateful for this time in my life and for the reflections on my first year of service that I got to write about here.

Thank you for reading.

Peace & Love,
Kajol