Kajol's Peace Corps Blog

Namaste, kaume kange n’ofamili yange! (Hello, my friends and family!)

My greetings here at site have come full circle and my memes (aunties) have switched from greeting me in their mother tongue of Oshiwambo to greeting me instead in my family’s mother tongue of Hindi.

Months and months have gone by, and I think weekly if anything has tickled my mind enough to reflect on in my next blog. I finally had my aha moment this past week during a trip I took with one of my childhood friends, Tanvi.

Tanvi recently quit her job back at home in the States and embarked on a two-month journey across the continents of Asia and Africa in an attempt to “fall in love with the world again.”

I met up with Tanvi in Uganda to share a small part of this journey with her, where we trekked through the Bwindi Jungle to observe the Mountain Gorillas living in their natural state. As most of my time goes with Tanvi, we spent hours doing a lot of reflecting on our lives – what our goals are, how our families shaped us, what’s missing and present in our day to day, and much more. The one thing that still has me thinking post all our chatter, is this idea of falling back in love with the world again.

Tanvi comes from a background of working long hours as a dedicated engineer, creating meaningful change in the world, but at the sacrifice of a lot of other things in life that she values. This is a struggle I know all too well, as it’s a common experience for young, ambitious adults back in the States. The way I see it, the rat race to success shapes a lot of the American career culture and hustle. It is easy to work so hard for something and then be left feeling empty, lonely, or at a loss for what’s next after achieving your goal. It is easy to reach a state of mind that makes you fall out of love with the world.

Time has been moving fast out here in Peace Corps Namibia, and I fear for the day I have to return to the States and leave behind my life here which is filled with fulfillment and drive, but not clouded by the stressors and burnout rates of back home.

As a privileged American, it is easy to fall in love with life out here on this side of the world. After all, I live in the continent that people go to “find themselves.” There is something about the vastness of Africa that makes you stop and realize how small you are in this large, large world that has a place for everyone. Or how powerless you are in the face of the African wildlife, reminding you to focus on what you can control, and let the power of greater forces take on the rest. When I return to the States, I don’t want these lessons and perspectives to fade.

Here is my space to reflect on the beauties of the world. The beauties that I can focus more on as a part of my journey here through Peace Corps. I know one day I’ll be back in the States, facing the pressure and stresses to chase big dreams, live in big cities, and have big titles. For as long as those things bring me happiness, I remain grateful and excited to keep building this life of mine. But for the moments when that culture and that life starts to feel like a burnout or a trap, I want to turn back to this reflection to remind myself of the boundlessness of this world and the beauties that exist in all corners of it, as a pusher to say, don’t feel stuck. There’s always something or somewhere new to try, to start over, to hit refresh, to revamp motivation, to find mindfulness, to help you fall in love with the world again…

Beautiful Southern Africa  

In May, I got my first visitor in Namibia. My boyfriend, Ady, came to visit me to experience my world out here. I took him around Windhoek (the capital of Namibia), Swakopmund (the Namibian Coast), Sossusvlei (the sand dunes in the Namib Desert), and we ended with a week in Cape Town.

It was Ady’s first time to the region, so I wanted to show him some of the jewels Africa has to offer, but more importantly I wanted to show him my home out here. I knew he’d fall for the physical beauty of Namibia – how can you not? The sand dunes that take your breath away with their extensiveness, the cotton candy skies, the sightings of wild giraffes, wildebeests, and ostriches, 30 minutes outside the metropolitan city of Windhoek – this region offers sights like no other.

It was important for me to take Ady to Cape Town as well, as I have a special relationship with the city. Cape Town is where I spent my summer abroad before my third year at UVA. It’s a city I fell in love with because of its jaw dropping beauty, but also because of the personal growth I had during my stay there.

Ady’s parting words when he left were something along the lines of “Africa is magical, Kaj.” And I could not agree more with that. Ady is going to hate this next part as it’s likely too “soft” for his taste. But one of the most magical things about Ady coming out here and seeing my world was the reflection on my end for what the visit did for me.

I took Ady to dinner one night to one of my favorite spots in Cape Town – Life Grande Café at the V&A Waterfront. It was a restaurant I frequented weekly with my friends during my study abroad. Later, when my parents, brother, and best friend Jenna visited me at the end of my 3 months living in Cape Town, Life was the first restaurant I took them all to. It is a place filled with many happy and fun memories. As I sat there with Ady, tipsy off love and some Stellenbosch wine, I had a moment where I thought to myself – wow, 6 years later, I’m back in Cape Town, with the love of my life, at my favorite restaurant, in my favorite city, working a job I’ve dreamt of since I was 12 years old. This is all I ever wanted, and I have it right now. 

When I think about Ady’s visit here, and him falling in love with my world and my home here, it makes me fall in love with the fact that this world is big, but support from your people can span continents. I fell in love with the feeling that comes with sharing new and old places with people you love. Most of all, I fell in love with the way life comes full circle sometimes.

Thanks for being my first visitor here in Namibia Ady, and my biggest supporter of my journey here. Your approval and love for it, is what gives me the strength and dedication to fully embrace my time out here.

Uganda Gorilla Trek

Ever since Tanvi and I hiked Machu Picchu together, we decided that one day we wanted to do the jungle trek in Uganda to see the Mountain Gorillas in their natural state. The Mountain Gorillas are currently endangered – fewer than 900 Mountain Gorillas are alive today. The Uganda forests are home to half of that endangered population, and if you book the right kind of trek, you can directly support conservation efforts that go towards helping the gorilla population growth.

The trek was unlike any hike I have ever done before. There was no path, and no exact route for how to get to the gorillas. We followed our trekking guide through the Bwindi Impenetrable Forest, as he took a machete to carve a way through all the lush vegetation of the jungle. We trekked for hours, deep into the forest until we finally located a family of gorillas. We then sat and watched them in their existence. We saw a silverback right away, marking the protector of the troop. My eye was caught by a momma gorilla and her baby that was latched onto her. There is something beautiful about watching a mother with her baby, and it hits a lot harder when you’ve been away from your mom for the last 10 months.

Post trek, I’ve been thinking about the gorillas. Humans share 98% of our DNA with gorillas. They spend nearly 14 hours a day eating, and the rest of the time they sleep, play, and wrestle with their family who they stay with throughout their lives. It seems like a good life – eating, resting, having fun, being with family.

The gorillas made me fall in love. I fell in love with the fact that such incredible adventures are out there to experience in this big, beautiful world. I also fell in love with the lifestyles and similarities of the gorillas to us human beings. They make you think for a second about what we truly need in life when you strip it down to the basics.

My Home Away from Home

Traveling is fun, but to be in love with the world, you most definitely must be in love with the place you settle back down in at the end of every journey. Home is a lot of things – it’s a place, it’s the people you love, it’s a feeling. When I spend time away from home here in Windhoek, I crave my return. I think Namibia felt like “home” early on because of how warm the people are and how beautiful my actual house is where I stay. However, my sense of home grew deeper over the past couple of months.

I realized Namibia is truly home when….

• Saying goodbye to Ady after his two weeks here did not hurt as much as I thought it would, because I left him at the airport, but I came back to a place and people that very much put me at ease and keep me happy.
   
• I got back from Uganda and realized how different greetings felt. Months ago, I wrote a blog about the greetings, and I noted that there is a feeling of awkwardness that comes with this cultural shift. Today during my greetings, I realized, I didn’t feel an ounce of awkwardness, I just felt warmth.
   
• One afternoon I hopped on the bus to join the ladies I work with on their evening drop off to go home. The drop off ride after work is a daily event, and it takes about one hour to drop off the women that live within the informal settlements of our neighborhood. The first time I joined on the drop off ride was in November 2022 when I first got to site. I’ll never forget how I felt physically ill during that ride as it was so apparent how much of an outsider I was. Fast forward to last month when I decided to join the drop off ride as a way to spend some quality time with my memes (aunties). We drove the normal route, and as I looked out the window, I thought of New Delhi, India – a place where I find beauty like no other in the chaos. A place that no matter how long I’m away – when I come back, it’s home. As we drove through Katutura, my hood in Windhoek, I realized I have that here now too.

So yes, the world is grand and beautiful. But as I explore more of it, it becomes more intimate as I develop a sense of home and pride in more places. I don’t think I could call a place or a person home, if there wasn’t love, so here’s to falling in love with more places and finding homes all over the world as a result.

Closeout

The sun was setting over the Bwindi Forest, and Tanvi and I were sitting outside on the balcony of our lodge. We made a promise to each other that no matter how big our goals get, we will always live a life of happiness for today. We will shake the mindset of burning out for a goal that will payout in 3 years, 10 years, or in our 40s. The world is too big and beautiful to wait to see it, explore it, and gain from it. Let’s be happy in our present moments we said, while simultaneously working towards happiness for our future moments as well. This way we never have to fully fall out of love with the world again.

Thanks Toons, for including me in your journey out here through beautiful Africa. I’ll see you soon in The Big Apple.

Thanks everyone else, as always, for reading.

Peace & Love my people,

Kaj